


Regulation Mandated Grief Counselling

by New1Romantic



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 20:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/New1Romantic/pseuds/New1Romantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the Nero Incident the members of the Enterprise are required to have grief counselling before they can be cleared for duty. After such a traumatic incident this is particularly important. However, the stoic crew of the Enterprise are less than receptive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regulation Mandated Grief Counselling

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this little piece. There's a little bit of Spock/Uhura (because it's canon) but not enough to make it really worth mentioning in my opinion. Act II will be the same thing after the events of the latest movie, probably with some other characters.

**Prologue**

Grief is a strange emotion, one particularly affected by adrenaline. When you’re in the heat of battle, there is very little time to think about the people who have died, the people you have lost. You have to keep going. But once everything is over and you’ve come back to earth, it is inescapable. You have to let it go, or it may consume you.

 

**Act I; Scene I: Uhura**

She had a very stoic face, serious and closed off, even in his office, knowing why they were there; perhaps because of where they were. “So, Miss Uhura, how are you?”

“Fine.”

_N. Uhura remains just as shielded as in previous sessions_. “Do you have any thoughts you wish to share?”

She shrugged, looking away from him, “No, Not really.” Her arms folded.

He leaned in and sighed, “You have been coming here for three sessions and you have yet to open up to me. You shouldn’t be keeping this to yourself, it’s not healthy, and I’m here to help you.” Still, she didn’t look at or even acknowledge him. “I can’t sign off on your counseling until I feel that we’ve made at least some progress.”

Finally, a muscle seemed to twitch in her face. _May begin to open up, has shown clear signs of grief_. Something finally seemed to crack. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out, not for a moment at least, while she thought of what to say. “Have you noticed how quiet is now?” She swallowed and he looked down his PADD. _N. Uhura appears to be finally opening up, at least to a certain extent._ “There were five other ships going to Vulcan, each one was supposed to be carrying a crew of approximately 400. Out of more than 2000 people…” She looked towards the window. _Still unwilling to make eye contact or acknowledge me. Feelings of survivor’s guilt?_ “We’re all that’s left.”

He leaned forward in his chair, “And how does that make you feel?”

She sighed and closed her eyes, attempting to calm herself down, to get her emotions under control and get the stoic look back on her face. “I was initially assigned to the USS Farragut.” _Did not answer direct question, however, still being more receptive._ “I pushed to get assigned to the Enterprise. What if I…” She trailed off, though her mouth still open.

He waited patiently, but she slowly closed her mouth and sat back. “Take your time.” He said quietly. _She is struggling with her emotions._

There were four more minutes of silence, where she shook almost imperceptibly, her mouth moving faintly as if speaking. “What if I hadn’t pushed to be put on the enterprise?” She finally finished her sentence. “What if I hadn’t found Spock to ask for transfer, or…” Again, she trailed off. “I would be dead.”

_Definite feelings of survivor’s guilt._ “Tell me about Spock.” He said, “Have you talked to him about it?”

She seemed to laugh and then shook her head, “No.” She said, in a very final voice, “He wouldn’t understand and besides…” She cast her eyes downwards, “I don’t want to burden him any more than he is already. He has it much worse than I do.”

“But he is your boyfriend, I assume you want to share with him.”

“He is half Vulcan, our relationship isn’t based on emotion or rather, sharing emotion. He wouldn’t know how…” She trailed off for a moment before speaking again, voice suddenly firmer and guarded again. “Our relationship is mostly academic.”

_Defensive over relationship with Mr Spock._ He nodded, “Fine, I understand that you don’t want to talk about it. But we’ve made a lot of progress today. Well, we have a little bit of time left, is there anything else you want to talk about?” He looked down at his PADD to see what they could possibly talk about. “How about… Your roommate. She was aboard the USS Excelsior, am I correct?”

She didn’t speak for some time, nor did she look at him, and though he wasn’t sure she would say anything, he waited patiently. Finally, she nodded, “Yes.” She looked down at her hands, “Gaila… We didn’t always get on. She was very bubbly and happy go lucky,” She explained, “I remember not long before we left we argued because she had a… _guy_ over, even though she said she wouldn’t any more. It seems… trivial now. I can’t…” She looked down, “I can’t believe she’s gone.” There were tears in her eyes.

_Mourning the loss of her roommate. Guilty over fighting, possibly?_ He reached over and handed her the box of tissues. She muttered a thank you. “Is there anything else?” She shook her head and did not speak for the rest of the session, even if prompted. Still, he had gotten a lot of information from her.

He checked the clock. “Well, that’s the end of our session for the day. Before next session, I want you to write a letter to Galia. You don’t have to show it to me if you don’t want to, but I think it will help you. I would also suggest that you speak to Mr Spock, but that is at your discretion.” He gave a small, encouraging smile though she pressed her lips together and frowned slightly. “We’ve made a lot of progress, I’m very happy and I don’t think we need many more sessions.”

She nodded and stood, nodding. “Thank you.” She said, ignoring what she said about Spock.

He copied her, holding out his hand and she shook it, “You’re welcome, Ms Uhura. I will arrange an appointment for the same time next week, as usual, if that is inconvenient you can reschedule with my secretary now or at a later date.

 

**Act I; Scene II: Checkov**

Checkov was unable to keep his hands still, moving from his lap, lacing the fingers around, pressing them against his stomach, hugging himself, and then one moved to tug on the other sleeve, pulling it down over his wrist and clutching it with his fingers. _Nervous, shy._

“I lost her.” He spoke very directly. There was clear distress in his voice, “I keep remembering, thinking about what I could have done – how I could have saved her.” He closed his eyes and his hand clutched harder around his sleeve. “I never knew her, but she was Spock’s mother. I should have saved her.”

“Because she was the mother of your commanding officer?” _Personal guilt over death of Spock’s mother on Vulcan._

“Because he has always been kind to me, even though I’m only seventeen. He has helped me and I should have helped him when he needed it.”

He sighed, “Spock will not be angry at you for the accident that ended in his mother’s death. Out of all the people to blame, you are the last. I think he probably blames Nero, don’t you agree.”

He nodded, “I know that, sir.” He insisted, “But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t have done anything else to help.” He trailed off, finally releasing his shirt sleeve, letting his hand rest on his thigh. He had a very earnest face, large eyes which were very betraying of his emotion. He was far too young and naïve for the taxing nature of star fleet.

“Perhaps you should talk to Spock about it.” He suggested, “Addressing these feelings of guilt with one they are directed towards may help. Perhaps he could ease your mind.” Checkov nodded, though he was not sure that the suggestion had been taken in. “Remind yourself; you saved most of the members of the Vulcan high council, and Kirk and Sulu. Remember, without you, they wouldn’t have lived.”

He nods again but doesn’t say anything. This is certainly progress from the first session, which Pavel spent crying, however, though he was opening up he still worried that his behavior wasn’t emotionally healthy. _Subject has closed up somewhat. Possible emotional shielding or just a difference between normal reserved nature and emotional outbursts of previous sessions._ “When you feel guilty, you should remind yourself of the lives you saved. It was your skill that saved Kirk and Sulu.”

“It was my skill that saved Kirk and Sulu.” He said to himself quietly, the words barely audible, his mouth barely moving. He repeated it twice again and perhaps longer. Then suddenly, his whispering became more frantic, repeating the phrase again and again, with tears in his eyes. Suddenly he started crying again, a very messy, loud ordeal. His eyes screwed up and his fingers clutched the edges of the chair. “S-sometimes I dream about letting them fall.” He stuttered out, his accent significantly heavier. “That I didn’t make the calculations in time. I get there and they’re dead on the transporter floor. I was too late. I lost them, I lost them, I lost them, I lost her, I lost her.” He descended in to what could be only described as hysterics, crying so hard he could barely breathe, still saying ‘I lost her’. That specific phrase obviously had a lot of significance in his grief.

So he waited patiently, looking down at his PADD. _P. Chekov is prone to sudden outbursts of emotion. Would not suggest suitable for duty. As he is young he is emotionally immature and does not cope well, should be given ground work._

Eventually, the crying stopped, but by that point, Chekov had curled up on himself and had closed himself off from him; he would not be talking any more that session. So he handed Chekov the tissues and looked over his notes. “Mr Chekov, if you are having nightmares, I want you to keep a dream diary. Some people find it helps. You’ll find that you’re probably having more good dreams than bad.”

Checkov nodded. “I am sorry.” He said, “For crying… it is not very grown up.”

He shook his head, “This is why I am here.” He assured. “I wouldn’t be a grief counselor if I didn’t expect to see people cry.”

Checkov stood, “I think I should be going.” He muttered, obviously still embarassed. “Same time next week?”

He nodded, “Same time next week.” Chekov scuttled out the door. He turned to his notes. _Must not be allowed back on to field work until his emotional outbursts are under control and emotional maturity is deemed to be more improved._

**Act I; Scene III – Kirk**

Kirk did not sit down. As soon as he entered the room, he floated towards the window and looked out of it, not even acknowledging him. _J. Kirk is acting hostile._ He chose not to say anything for a while, to see if Kirk would speak first. _Does not want to engage._

The silence continued. “Now, Mr Kirk, you need to talk to me.”

“Why?” He didn’t look over still, “I don’t have any problems.”

An eyebrow was raised. _Denial?_ “You confronted the person responsible for your father’s death. You’re saying you weren’t affected by that?”

He shrugged, “I never knew my father. He died without me ever having met him, why should I feel anything for him?” Somehow he didn’t believe Kirk.

“You’re avoiding.” He said, turning his chair towards the window to look at him better.

Kirk turned around to him finally, folding his arms. _Confrontational._ “Avoiding what?”

“I don’t know.” He said quite simply. “But you wouldn’t miss two sessions unless you were avoiding having to confront something, something that happened on the mission.  But it does beg the question – why are you here now, Mr Kirk? It’s not until the third session missed that we send warnings.”

“You grounded Checkov.” He said, “Why? That’s my navigator, I want him on my ship.”

“That would breach confidentiality. Yes, I have grounded him for at least six months, and that’s as much as I am going to tell you.”

Kirk sneered a little bit, and reared up like an animal protecting its den. “I’m his captain, I should know about my crew!”

“Calm down, Mr Kirk. Patient confidentiality isn’t even broken for Captains. If you want to know why I grounded Mr Chekov, you will have to ask him. Besides, why does it matter? You didn’t know him until the Enterprise.” _Loyal, very quickly so it appears._

“He saved my life.” Kirk replied, “And he’s a good kid, he deserves to be with good people, who’ll treat him with the respect he deserves.”

“Interesting... So you see the members of your crew like,” he waved a hand, looking for the word, “A family. If you want what’s best for Mr Checkov, surely you would follow the advice of his councilor.”

“You don’t know what’s best for him.”

“And you do? You hardly know him.” Kirk seemed to stop for a moment to think. He had been boxed in to a corner and he didn’t seem to like it. “Why don’t we talk about you, rather than the ensign? When I think he’s ready, you can have him back on your ship when he’s ready.”

Kirk sighed and dropped down on to the chair, a symbol of compliance. He smiled and nodded in thanks. “Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk about? Remember, nothing you say leaves this room.”

Kirk made a disbelieving noise. _Trust issues?_ “Not if they think it’s for ‘your own good’.” He snorted.

He held his hand against his heart, “I promise I won’t tell anyone else about these explorations. I’m here for your benefit, not the higher-ups.”

Kirk lifted his head, taking a deep breath. “It occurred to me that… My father wasn’t supposed to die.” He said, “I got a glimpse of…” he trailed up and took another deep breath, “What it could have been like if he’d been around.”

“How does that make you feel?” He had become much more pliant and willing to speak. Perhaps this was what Kirk had been avoiding.

He ran a hand through his hair, “I dunno, angry, I guess? At Nero.” He shrugged, closing in on himself a little, “I can’t help but think… That if my dad had been around things would be different.  I might have even been a good kid.” He laughed, “Maybe I wouldn’t have to have dealt with Frank.” Suddenly he closed down, looking away from him, his shoulders hunching.

He frowned, “Who is Frank?”

“Mom used to leave use with him when she was off planet. He wasn’t…” He hesitated as he thought. “a nice guy.” He suddenly stood up again and he knew that he had lost him again. “But I’m not grieving, I don’t need to be here.”

He sighed and nodded, making a note on his PADD, “Fine.” He said, knowing he would get no more out of Kirk today. “But I don’t believe you’re as stable as you want to be.” He said, “I would prefer to see you for two or three more sessions. And they are mandatory; you don’t fly until I say you do.”

Kirk made something of a face. “Yeah, I know.”

“Mr Chekov is only 17, Mr Kirk.” He reminded him, “He doesn’t have the emotional strength of someone like you, so he needs more time.” Chekov would not tell Kirk himself; he was so desperate for approval, he would never admit to his captain that he was weak. “But that stays between us, and I will not tell you anything else. The only reason I am telling you is because as his captain, you are responsible for assuring his mental health. If you want to protect him as you imply you do, then you need to understand that.”

Kirk nodded, “Thank you.” He conceded.

 

**Act I; Scene IV: Spock**

Spock came in to the room very quietly, his posture perfect and sat down in the chair, hands folded neatly in his lap. He smiled, “Mr Spock.” He gave a small incline of the head, which the Vulcan returned politely. He opened a new note on his PADD, looking up at him and waiting to see if he would speak. A few moments went by without speaking, “Out of everyone, you have the greatest reason to be grieving.”

Spock’s expression didn’t change. “Yes, that is true. However my attendance is merely a formality to fulfill a requirement to Star Fleet.”

He raised an eyebrow. _Dismissive._ “You don’t think you need to work through your grief?”

“On the contrary, I believe that it is very important. However, I am a Vulcan and we work through our grief in a different way to humans, through long periods of meditation.” He explained, “Unlike humans, we do not talk about our feelings.”

“How unhealthy. But you are half human, you need to embrace that side of you.”

He shook his head a little bit, “Negative. I am perfectly capable of emotional control through meditation.”

“Control and closure are two different things.” He said smoothly. “Control is not as healthy.”

“The meditation allows for examination of thoughts, beliefs and emotions. It is not simply about control it is possible to come to peace with something through meditation.  However, I would not expect you, as a human, to understand or even attempt to understand something that was beyond your reach.” There was the slightest hint of a smirk on his face as he spoke.  “Your role is to find someone who is grieving the best way to work through it and lead them to that path. I already have a path, so I do not need counseling.”

“Vulcans are very secretive. Perhaps us humans would understand more if your kind explained more. You insult humans for a Vulcan failing.”

“Vulcans are very secretive, that’s true and perhaps this allows a certain amount of miscommunication. But we have reasons for our secrecy.”

He raised an eyebrow, “If you insist.” He said, “We’re not here to discuss Vulcan traditions.”

He nodded, “Perhaps it will change now.” He murmured quietly. “We cannot afford to be secretive.”

“Do you often think about your planet?” He asked, looking down at his PADD to keep making notes.

“Well, naturally.” He said very calmly, “But there is a suitable planet that we have begun to colonize and it has gone well so far. Every day more people who were off-world at the time of the incident make themselves known and that gives me hope.”  He had a very level voice even as he spoke of what would be a very emotional subject for most people. But what could anyone expect from a Vulcan. They were very difficult to read, especially since when you didn’t know the Vulcan personally so he wasn’t really sure what to write.

“So your feelings towards New Vulcan are wholly positive?”

“Naturally.” He said simply, “The dead of so many of my people is undoubtedly tragic but…” He paused for a moment, “We are not extinct and for that I am greatful.”

“What about your mother? How do you feel about her?”

He stiffened a bit, almost imperceptibly. “I do not wish to talk about it.” He said quite sharply.

“Yes, it is something of a touchy subject for you,” He said, “On board the enterprise you strangled Kirk because he made a comment about your mother.”

“Regrettably, yes.” He said, “I allowed myself to be emotionally compromised and acted foolishly. If my father hadn’t been there I dread to think what I would have done.” He said and even with such an emotional subject he was difficult to read. “I am coming to terms with my emotions. As I say, meditation is a powerful tool.”

“I don’t suppose you have spoken to Ms Uhura or she has spoken to you?” He asked, looking down to his PADD at the notes he had made on Ms Uhura. “Good communication is important for a strong relationship.”

“Negative.” He answered, “We have an understanding and our relationship is not emotional in the same way conventional human relationships are.”

He frowned a little bit, “I would strongly suggest you talk to her. After all, you may not be a conventional human, but she is.”

“Sir, I would much prefer it if you did not involve yourself in my relationships. I am not here for advice, I am here to fill an obligation to star fleet. My relationship with Ms Uhura is not your business even in a professional capacity.”

“On the contrary, Ms Uhura is my patient and her emotional state is my business and since you’re her partner you have a hand in her emotional stability.”

Spock took a moment to think about it. “Your logic is sound. However, I still resent the fact that you are attempting to tell me what to do with my relationship.”

He chuckled, “Fine, I can’t force you to do anything. Well, apart from come here.”

“I believe the minimum required sessions is three, correct?”

He gave a slight incline of the head “Yes,”

He stood, hands clasped behind his back. “Then I will return for two more sessions and you will find me fit for duty.”

He raised an eyebrow, “We will see, Mr Spock. That’s my decision not yours.”

Spock raised an eyebrow, but he chose not to argue. “Noted.” He said, “I will return next week.” His heels clicked together in a strikingly military action.

“Goodbye, Mr Spock, I’ll see you next week.” He waved a hand as the Vulcan left.

And to the next client.

 


End file.
